If I had a dollar for every time I heard a woman say “I prefer having guys as friends because women have too much drama… and they like talking!” I would hold all top-three positions on the Forbes’ List! Sure, male friends are great for all intensive purposes like changing our flat tires or handling all the heavy-lifting (maybe even in the bedroom wink!), but let’s face it ladies they can never match up to our girlfriends. You know why? Simply because we, as women too, love all this drama we pretend we’d rather do without. We revel in it. Men haven’t the slightest interest or inherent aptitude to discuss other women, bikini waxes or your latest scheme to get your man to pop the question, unless you are of course equipped with your very own gay bff  . In which case, he still pretty much serves as a girlfriend.

 Drama is what we live for and our girls appreciate and facilitate that. As for the talking bit… why do you think we always need lipstick, lip balm, lip-gloss and the likes? Lubrication! For all our gabfests. And just to drive the point home to all you in denial right now, at the cost of sounding redundant, what we constantly chin wag about is in fact the drama. Drama that our girlfriends are only ever-so-available to indulge in with us over a few cocktails-Sex and the City style, or a quick salad and sour cream (read Kenchic).

Girlfriends are indeed the ultimate accessories, and I say accessories because we all regard ourselves as the piece de resistance of our social ensemble, and deem everyone else as mere pieces in completing the look.

Accessories who each serve a very specific purpose- think Paris Hilton and all her different seasonal bffs: Nichole Richie-the one she shared her eating disorder days with, or Kim Kardashian-the one she shared stories of utter humiliation (and instant celebrity) resulting from leaked homemade sex-tapes with. But, like in every food-chain…errrm, I mean social circle, there are those few wild-cards that you need to watch out for like a rogue bludger at a quidditch game, just trying to knock you off your broom (for those of you who speak Harry Potter). So as the Queen Bee, you might want to have your stinger at the ready and guard your throne against the following three types of girlfriends.

First, we have the swagger-jacker who basically as the name informs, is out to jack your swag… steal your style.

The one who just happens to get the same highlights you did or all of a sudden has your exact taste in men, clothes, scents and everything under the sun. Your very own wannabe. A girl with about as much personal appeal as a disposable napkin that she has no option but to try and fake it by imitating the best thing she can see-you!

 The pro about having a swagger-jacker around you is that in all her endeavors at being the boot-leg version of you, she ends up showing the world just how naturally and effortlessly amazing you are at everything. Better yet she is an ego boost to you… what with imitation being the sincerest form of flattery and all that. On the flip-side though, this woman could get out of hand in trying too hard to be like you that she eventually (but very rarely) tries to be you! Adopting your exact look, mannerisms and maybe even try to take over your man and/or friends. Remember the psycho bitch from SWF (Single white Female)?

 But you needn’t worry too much to about this copy-cat because you are always two steps ahead and her one step behind. For her it’s a chase more than a race as she can’t keep up. After all, who could be better at being you than you?
Second on the list is the frenemy. An urban term more popular than whatever new hair do Rihanna is rocking.

The faux-friend, kind of like the Veronica to your Betty. Your biggest fan and no. 1 hater all rolled up into one. Always trying to show you up or sabotage your success in the sweetest way possible like “wow babe I like that dress on you… almost makes me forget how flat-chested you are!”

Every woman has one, every woman is one (don’t you deny it) and most importantly every woman needs one. I know you’re thinking you need a frenemy in your life like you need a nasty run in your panty-hose right before a presentation when you haven’t even shaved your legs… and well, you couldn’t be more right. Just like the thought of that run occurring makes you always carry a spare pair of stockings and keep your legs silky smooth, a frenemy always pushes you to be at the top of your game 24/7. Competition bringing out the winner in you. Some freinemies might get too bitter and take things a tad too seriously, so you better be on your guard about that.

Last, but maybe the most dangerous one, is the consoler.

She is a lonely pathetic woman that you should get rid of quick fast and in a hurry. Having no life of her own, due to low self-esteem or inferiority complex she looks for a way to make herself feel important and that means being your shoulder to cry on. She feels needed when you call on her when you’re down and she feeds on this.

So much so in fact that she probably starts creating situations based on lies to make sure you actually do need her. Before you know it you’re always miserable about something or other and there she is ever ready to be you’re pick-me-up. There is no upside to this type of girlfriend. She breaks down your confidence and resilience and feeds on your gloominess turning you into a miserable shadow of what you used to be. Like a dementor issuing a kiss of death. If you have one of these in your life, cut her out immediately.

Much as girlfriends can be manna from heaven, some are phony and you need to weed them out. Always trust your instincts and remember, keep your friends close

. . . and your frenemies guessing.